Two Steps Back

Everyday Life, GameTime, Memories

(Work crap story here) I’m still hearing flack about a mix up I was involved in a couple weeks back and now everyone’s in a snit about. Yes, I had a misunderstanding about a task whereas they just wanted to know how long it would take to do something but I took it as how long would it take, told them and they said great, and went ahead and did it although I wasn’t supposed to. Why ask if you’re not going to do anything!? Looking back at it now I can see it could be read two ways in the way it was asked. I was a bit zealous in my search to find stuff that I might have jumped the gun a bit on that, but if the pressure wasn’t so high in the first place maybe it would have never happened? Oh well. So now they are crying over budget (again) and they want to win the re compete for this project which is coming up (not sure how my involvement would change any of that, wouldn’t you just eat it and not place things like that in a proposal? Plus I’ve learned you can have a great proposal and be cheaper than the competition and still lose – that’s why I’m in this mess in the first place) and want me to move it to overhead, but that freaks my manager out because it will ruin the utilization numbers for the month of the group because for some reason they’ll all agog about having the numbers look good for January (they just recently reorganized again – seems to happen every 18 months or so since I’ve started working in this business). Same old story I’ve heard a million times before. Gets old real fast.

Well, I can’t change the past. It is what it was. Makes me think they’re concerned about profitability (as usual – I get it, but geez), I think a bunch of folks are on the light side, not just me, and that is not a good sign. The business is somewhat cyclical – it gets busy and then there are lulls – I believe we are in somewhat of a lull at the moment, maybe if they could win some projects things would reflect better what they are trying to achieve. I’ve been able to find some things on my own here and there but it’d be good to get something solid. Meanwhile the place goes ahead and buys another company and is building a huge ass headquarters for millions that won’t be done for two years (got money for that though), yet they worry about one week of my part time work bringing down the house. Oh, and nobody cares for the stupid open office concept either – it’s so 2002. Anyways I haven’t heard as of yet what the final outcome will be or what they want me to do with the time I used. A good part of me really doesn’t give a fuck. I’m finding myself getting really tired of this same old story and it makes me want to break free and try something new, but the other side is I need the job and where am I going to find something equatable as what I have now? Crazy to believe in September I’ll be 30 years in. (Not that that seems to matter any – I think my manager was in high school while I was putting out reports).

Then I try to figure out if I could just retire now. Total pipe dream – I can’t but it would be nice. Another 13 years at least of this shit!? Feels good to vent though. I’m open to possibilities if you know of any. I could happily be a lovely assistant to someone. Another pipe dream.

But there is something to look forward to. I’m going to see Def Leppard and friends at Fenway park late this summer with LD and a friend coming up from Jerz. Thanks LD!

Today’s Gametime: Wiz!

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